wikialityfandomcom-20200214-history
The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 461
Production Info Intro The New York Times Crossword Puzzle * Dr. Colbert asks his mob to save their fuel for the winter * Wagged at the New York Times ** for putting Obama's name in their crossword puzzle over and over without including John McCain * 39 down Sen. McCain ** not POW ** not mavrk ** Bush Market's Come Back * Dow made a come back +936 points ** to change it to whatever the Europeans are doing * Hannity started selling Colmes' organs * Who's at fault ** the rich ** the poor * BBC says computerized are panicking * Half trades are managed by computers ** cascading effect * the whole mess started when worthless loans * 60 Minutes says the computers are unpredicatble ** coffee make beats him at chess * Dr. Colbert is going to try to reach Gorlock ** Partner at the firm, Hal (an overgrown speak and spell) *** keeps calling Stephen "Dave" *** hung up on Stephen * Jimmy put up some machine porn to distract them while Stephen comes up with a plan ** he was wearing a surge protector * contributing editor of Vanity Fair, Bethany McLean ** has to prove she isn't a computer she will try to fall in love with Dr. Colbert * a bigger model is not possible * blames people ** took out too much debt ** convinced people to buy crap instead of gold * 50,000 pieces of crap=one bar of gold * like faeries all the money will come back ** the mob applauds * believes it will take a while to fix * American's have been living beyond our means * too scared to give America the bad news that we can't have a new pair of shoes Stephen Colbert's Bears & Balls * Americans have a grim view of our economy ** CNN 60% thought we are going into a depression ** the other 40% had their phones shut off * Where to find an affordable house ** refrigerator box ** prison ** eBay * If you have no computer skills, where can you find a house? ** bubble of self-delusion ** shipping containers (PFNC) * Another investment opportunity that you can find in your house: ** unexpressed hostilities ** bees ** salt *** $45-$79 *** convert your money into salt, salary came from the roman word for salt * golden rule of investing: ** sell your organs ** sell your soul ** sell yor toxic debt to the government Interview * Kathleen Parker * conservative columnist who thinks Sarah Palin should be dropped form the ticket, Stephen will ask which she hates more; hockey or moms * she has a new hairstyle * doesn't she think she made a mistake * she talked for 90 minutes during her debate with Biden * her column was designed to get the base going * she received 12,000 emails ** also secretly got them from the White House, off the record * her friends are behaving chilly toward her * the press is too easy on her because she's a babe * she doesn't know what she doesn't know ** very confident * she brought up John McCain's age and history of cancer * Dr. Colbert was able to say "this is the woman we need to manage this crisis" with a straight face ** she should have known better than to ask Dr. Colbert if he could say that * would not vote for someone who appeals to our "lesser selves" ** negative campaigning does not appeal to her * hesitated when she realized how Dr. Colbert was going to hammer her ** and graciously he ended the interview Epilogue * Dr. Colbert says "happy birthday" to "viewer" then asks The Heroes to play it back on your actual birthday ** he also wants The Heroes to remember that he got us something *** perhaps this is a hint Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments